You might say that there are two varieties of individuals on this world: people who stake the corners of the tent down earlier than erecting the poles, and people who slide the poles by way of the tent sleeves first and stake the corners of the tent down final.
After all, there are such a lot of different kinds of individuals on this world—there are individuals who have another person pitch their tent, individuals who glamp, individuals who sleep in a hammock…hell, there are even individuals who have by no means pitched a tent as soon as of their life and don’t have any need to begin the method now, thanks very a lot. However I’m speaking about individuals who matter right here, and amongst individuals who matter, there are two varieties of individuals: those that stake first, and people who stake final.
It looks as if a easy distinction that shouldn’t have any true consequence on one’s life or id, however the course of by which you erect a tent says so much about who you might be as a person. Staking the perimeters first implies that you’re assured sufficient to know, no doubt, that the spot you picked out to your tent would be the excellent spot, even after it’s absolutely erected. Some may name that unwavering confidence “vanity.” Staking the tent final implies that you just’re a bit extra whimsical and susceptible to altering your thoughts, and perhaps after you get the poles contained in the tent sleeves and see the factor in all its glory, you’ll wish to transfer it to a barely totally different location. Some may name that indecision “flighty.”
“Stakes first” individuals are rule followers. “Stakes final” folks assume guidelines are cute recommendations. “Stakes first” folks have 401(okay)s. “Stakes final” individuals are counting on sandwich loyalty punch playing cards as a retirement plan.
Aside from being in settlement that tenting is superior, “stakes first” folks in all probability won’t see eye to eye with “stakes final” folks on quite a lot of points. For example, there’s a superb probability that everybody within the “stakes final” camp insists on torching their marshmallows on the top of the stick after they’re making s’mores, whereas everybody within the “stakes first” group in all probability roasts their marshmallows slowly, cautious to caramelize the sugar deal with however not burn it. “Stakes first” folks like Pearl Jam, “stakes final” folks like Nirvana, and so they’ll slap any idiot who disagrees.
It needs to be famous right here that the printed directions on all tents expressly inform you to stake down the corners of mentioned tent first. Don’t consider me? Go discover your tent and have a look at the directions sewn to the within of the stuff sack proper now. It’s proper there in black and white.
It also needs to be famous that I’ve been firmly planted within the “stakes final” group of individuals my total life. It’s odd, as a result of I used to be raised by a “stakes firster.” Maybe my late-staking tendencies are an act of riot? I additionally burn my marshmallows, have been described typically as “flighty,” and, if I’m being fully sincere, received’t even trouble staking down my tent half the time.
Sure, I’ve learn the instructions on the tent, analyzing the graphic that clearly exhibits how you need to stake the corners of the tent down first, then slide the poles into place. However I’ve all the time thought of these instructions to be both A) a misprint; Or B) a entice. I’ve additionally all the time thought of individuals who stake down their tent earlier than erecting it to be psychotic if not outright criminals.
I’m a “stakes final” or die type of man. Nirvana over Pearl Jam. Burnt marshmallows all day.
Or so I believed.
I used to be tenting just lately with a gaggle of recent associates, considered one of whom is a “stakes firster.” I mumbled some disparaging remark about his sort beneath my breath as we had been establishing our two-person tents, and he challenged me to a contest. I pitch my tent stakes final, he pitches his tent stakes first, the individual with the tautest tent wins. We had equivalent buildings, so there might be no mistake in regards to the victor. The gauntlet was thrown. He may as properly have slapped me throughout the face with a glove and questioned my civility as a gentleman. The duel was on.
We every went to work erecting our tents in our personal strategies, and after we completed and stepped again from our momentary abodes, the outcomes had been simple: his tent was considerably tauter than mine. Not solely that, however he had a neater time getting his poles by way of the sleeves and erecting his tent along with his corners staked first.
I used to be dumbfounded. My total perception system had been shattered in a matter of minutes, and it hit me exhausting. My complete life, I had been pitching tents the mistaken method, however my near-religious fervor had blinded me. I’d even taught my very own kids to pitch tents the mistaken method. I had been optimistic that “stakes firsters” had been monsters, however in actuality, I used to be the monster.
I’ve been questioning quite a lot of issues since that fateful day. What else have I gotten mistaken in my life? Ought to I take extra care when roasting marshmallows? Are sandwich loyalty packages not a viable retirement plan? Expensive god, have I been mistaken about Pearl Jam this complete time?
I don’t know something anymore. If anybody wants me, I’ll simply be right here questioning my very own existence whereas listening to the album “Ten” time and again.
Cowl picture courtesy of the writer.
